Have you ever filled out a claims form?
Here are some actual quotes from claims reports.

I thought the side window was down, but it was up, as I found out when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary bus coming the other way.

I blew my horn, but it would not work, as it was stolen.

I consider neither car was to blame, but if either was to blame, it was the other one.

I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault, as he had been run over before.

To avoid a collision, I ran into the other car.

The accident was due to the other man narrowly missing me.

If the driver had stopped a few yards behind himself, the accident would not have happened.

A cow wandered into my car. I was later informed that the cow was half-witted.

I miss judged a lady crossing the street.

A bus backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.

I heard a horn blow and was struck in the back. A lady was evidently trying to pass me.

I bumped into a lamp post which was obscured by a pedestrian.

I left my car unattended for a while, and whether by design, it ran away.

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

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