Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like
shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.
"There is only one pretty child in the world...
and every mother has it."
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents,
despite every effort to teach them good manners.
I love to give homemade gifts.
Which one of my kids do you want?
Children always misquote you.
Except when they repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of
the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
A child's greatest period of growth is
the month after you've purchased new school clothes.
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it.
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
They never really leave home, they only leave long enough to start a family to bring home to you.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child...
she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.